Following on from my first blog when I told my story about my new
journey with Jesus as a new Christian, I am excited to announce that on
12th May 2013 I was baptised by full immersion at Grace Church in
Nottingham. My emotional and spiritual journey leading up and shortly
following this event was strong and positive; however as life goes I
have recently faced a huge relapse of issues that first affected me
prior to having a relationship with Jesus. As these issues have become
bigger and more prominent in my life, totally consuming me over these past few
weeks I have felt myself slipping back once more. Recognising this I
knew that I had to keep holding on, to keep praying, reading my bible
and doing everything in my power to stop depression and anxiety from
coming between me and God. It has been tough and there have been days, weeks when I have felt very detached from God and my faith has been very much overlooked or forgotten as the issues overpowered. The familiar struggle of each daily
routine has been hard if not harder, regardless of God being actively
present in me, however the support that God has provided for me through
friends and family as well as Church and University has been a huge. I
have a strong wall behind me preventing me from falling too far back and
pushing me up again and I just need to recognise this, praise God for
his love and support that he has provided through all the amazing people
in my life and help myself along the way too.
God has a purpose
for each of us and i know this life was given to me for a specific
purpose. Although sometimes to carry on living my life seems like a huge
uphill struggle and the fog in front is thick and cold and prevents you
from seeing the light. You've had enough, done, you want to give up,
but God will let you know when he's ready for you and until then you
have got to keep pushing through to get to that light. God gives his
greatest battles to his strongest soldiers and until that day when he is
ready for you, you have fight the demons, the anxieties, the stresses
and the hard times. Keep on fighting because one day the light will
break through.
Being Emma is hard. It's tiring, draining and testing
but as I journey along in life I will come to know that it will be
alright in the end and living the life of Emma, set out by God, will be totally worth it.
